My sweet little monkey Elle has had severe eczema since birth. Now that she's running around and getting dirty, it's just constantly getting worse and flaring up, to the point that she has multiple open wounds on her feet and hands that are now causing infections.
Her skin has always been so sensitive that we didn't take too much notice the first time she received a few hives after touching peanut butter. The second time was a bit worse and now last week she was diagnosed with a severe peanut allergy...which of course, like most peanut allergies, can result in anaphylaxis.
I know I still have to get on with life. I know this is not the worse thing that could happen. I know. I know. But I feel that strong protective mama wave coming over me and I just want to yell at everyone around me.
How can I leave her to play when she is walking around on her tip toes because of the cuts on her feet? How can I work and sleep at night knowing that she's constantly scratching at her skin? How can I leave her with other people knowing about this life-threatening food allergy when peanuts could be anywhere?! How can I do anything knowing that she's uncomfortable?!
This is my baby!
For now, we have a steroid that will eliminate the eczema for about 2 weeks. Then it will be back, as always. I have until the next outbreak to get some work done and feel like myself. But once it strikes again, the mommy guilt will be back something fierce.
Do any of your children suffer from food allergies, eczema or other ailments? Besides being way more in control of the situation than I am, how do you cope? Do you have sad days? Guilty days? Strong days?
1 comments:
Hello, I'm not sure how long your post dates back to. Hopefully, Elle has had some relief from this dreadful skin condition. I heard it gets better for some and I hope your daughter falls into that category. For us, we have not been so lucky.
My son is 6 years--almost 7yrs in 2 months. I've been at battle with my son's eczema since Tyler was 5 months old. I quit my job and became a stay at home mom as a result to mommy guilt and the sleepless nights while he did nothing but scratch. Now he's in kindergarten and scratches at school. I worry how he's doing at school. He definitely is learning, but that doesn't help when the teachers watch him scratch like crazy. I get self-concious of what other's think. It's especially worse when I've fed him something new or the weather changes. It's hard at his age since he's limited in his diet and I'd like to cheat sometimes because he deserves a normal life damn it!
I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. The feelings of sadness, guilt...and the handful of strong days when I feel there might be hope he'll oneday outgrow his severe eczema are part of being a mom taking care of a child with severe eczema. What we are dealing with is not normal, yet everyone else regards it as just "eczema".
Best of luck to you. I hope Elle, if she hasn't outgrown it already, gets better with each month, year.
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